1.02.2006 (5:59 PM)
hellos.
I'm currently feeling sucky, just like a stupid & unreasonable depressed teenage spoilt brat. This thing I'm feeling now is called growing up, and I'm in the process of figuring out who I really am. You can jsut ignore this and read the following stuff, which still isn't very interesting too. *Sighs* And I'm not using less of the computer and not doing my homework like what I should be doing. I'm still as lazy. How I wish I could kill laziness, then I would be someone whom I really love to be. Currently I'm someone whom I want to be the least. Spoilt and unreasonable and dumb and slow and useless and lazy and dirty and disgusting and stupid and brainless and ugly and unfriendly and timid and lousy and everything negative you can think of.
The new school term is starting. It's term 1 again. But everything's gonna be different. I can't help but feel lonely and afraid. I know everything's gonna turn out fine eventually, but everyone's bound to feel this way. It's a feeling you want to hide from but can't. You're forced to face it. But after facing it, you find out that it's not that scary after all. And I seem to be exagerating things. But right now I'm more worried about my studies. The hardest thing to me is to exercise self-control and self-motivation. And being in a class like 3/5'06, I can't help but feel damn worried for myself. Let's just hope I grow up and be more matured. Seems like I have to think of a goal to work towards, long-term goal. Right now my only goal is to improve my studies. Not so great a goal, eh? *Sighs*
afizah
class 2-3