8.26.2005 (10:05 PM)
argh. why does my mother always expect me to be like my sister. it's so unfair. i don't know when did i ever do something my sister has not done before. yet, she's so unhappy about my behaviour and blah blah.. the only thing i've done that my sister hasnt done before is getting the a2 as the highest grade in the report book at fourteen years old. other than that, i dont think i'm so bad and rebellious. in fact, i find my quite obedient. i dont smoke, sniff glue, take drugs, gang fight, be ah lian, wear sexy clothes, stead and everything. all i do is have fun. what's so wrong about having fun. i admit i tend to slack a lot, but i'm not like my sister who can study and study for so many hours. i'm not her. i'm so totally different. she's a workaholic and i'm a slacker. she's a sweety pie and i'm an anti-social freak. she's an A1 student and i'm a C5 student. she revise her homework everyday and i study only before tests and exams. she wears trendy clothes and i wear out-of-shape t-shirts and shorts. i use the computer for hours everyday and she hardly ever touches it every week. i'm 45kg and she's 40kg. i can finish $3 worth of prawn mee and she can only finish half a packet of $2 prawn mee. i join green club and go for lame meetings and she's in the dance society and takes part in SYFs. we are so so different. but my mother expect me to be like my sister. she think my sister is forever the right one and i'm the blur and stupid girl. as if i want to be me. i simply didnt call home for once and i get scolded like shit. my sister and brother dont know did not call home for so many thousand times and they get away with it. its so unfair. my mother willingly paid for my sister's $500+ hp which lasted for only 4-5 months but she nag and nag and refuse to even get me $250+ hp. so what if she's acadamically good. does she know how to vacuum the floor in 10 minutes? does she know what blogger is? does she understand html? does she know how to use photoshop? does she know what is dreamweaver? does she even know what macromedia is? well, to be truthful, that is the only thing i think i know and she doesnt know. i admit i'm lousy. as if i can do much about it. people say shang liang bu zheng xia liang wai. so if i'm really disobedient now, it's all because of my parents. argh. cant my mother just stop invading my privacy. some things are not meant for my nother to see. she dont understand me. and i cant be bothered to explain everything to her. she dont even know how to search for a file, so how am i going to explain blogs and things like that to her?! it's gonna take me hundred years to do that. argh. sometimes i just wish i could just jump off the building and end my life. but i'm not so selfish. i wont let busy the police. i know my mother loves me but sometimes she just dont know how to be a parent. she dont really know me. she dont even know what things i like. she dont even know i've got an ulcer. she dont even know what colours i like. she don't even know my dressing style. she dont even know what i like to eat or drink. she dont know how much i hate people to touch my stuff. she dont know so much. argh. why am i even blogging this thingy. sigh.
afizah
class 2-3